Often, church members have asked me, “Pastor Bob, you are our pastor. We come to you. Who do you talk to?” Who do you go to?” This is a great question! Here are a handful of the people who have been there for me through almost 29 years of pastoral ministry. They help me stay grounded in Christ and in His word. They challenge me to stay emotionally healthy. And they hold me accountable. 

First, Melanie is my best friend, my biggest support. She has been there through the ups and downs in life and ministry. She is deeply prayerful, wise, strong, and holds our family together in the day-to-day demands of pastoring. Isabella has always been my cheerleader. She prays for her dad and has offered grace and understanding. Growing up, she saw a lot of the back of my head (me leaving the house for a meeting, a funeral, hospital, etc.). Pastors’ spouses and children face challenges similar to those of people in other professions who are on call or work nights and weekends. I am eternally grateful for my family and for our extended family.

However, there are times when confidential pastoral care and church matters arise and I am unable to talk with my family. This is where people like my pastoral counselor and the associational directors of mission have been tremendous resources. They are a text, call, or milkshake away. 

A third way that God has blessed me is through my pastor peer group. For more than 20 years, I have been part of a group of fellow pastors from around Virginia. Through the BGAV and the Spence Network, Dr. John Chandler had the vision to connect pastors whose churches averaged about 300 in attendance. The pastors would gather for peer learning, sharing of ideas, leadership development, and fellowship.  

We started out meeting at the BGAV building in Henrico. We migrated to Second Baptist Church. Then something unique started to happen. We began to form friendships and became intentional about meeting together for fellowship and peer learning. There were about 10 of us who decided to meet several times a year. One pastor had a member who offered to let us use their river house on the Mattaponi River in King and Queen County. Most years, we held a river retreat in February and then met at one of our churches the other times. Of course, we always connect in November at the annual meeting of the BGAV. Where would you find us? Just look for the table with the most laughter at the restaurant! 

This year, we held our retreat at Lake Gaston in late August. We enjoyed eating fresh catfish and big country breakfasts. We enjoyed fishing, boating, and riding the Sea-Doo. We shared stories while sitting on the dock. And of course, we laughed – a whole lot!  

At the 2025 annual meeting of the BGAV in Abingdon, Jennifer Law, a member of the BGAV’s Marketing Team, said that she would like to do a story on our group. That conversation culminated in a trip to Lake Gaston to spend a few hours with our group. Our daughter, Isabella, started her career with the team in July and traveled with Jennifer to run camera. It was so neat to see Isabella in her element and to enable her to get to know my dear friends whom she heard me talk about her entire life. 

The story recently appeared online and in the most recent issue of BGAV’s Faith & Field. If you’d like to see my friends and hear more about this group, I invite you to watch the video and read the story here.  

Thank you for your continued prayers for pastors and their families. Pray for pastors who need to connect with a group like I’ve described. And pray for our pastoral staff here at HRBC as we serve alongside you in ministry.  

God’s blessings,