If you have been through a loss, then you’re aware of the emotional responses and feelings that come in the form of grief.  Someone once said that grief is complex, like a cake with many layers.  I have also heard grief described as a sponge.  We seem to be doing okay, and then a memory or a scent causes the sponge to reach its capacity and the tears come pouring out.  The loss might have been the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, job-loss, or moving to a different location.  Grief can also be due to the loss of memory, physical health or even the ability to drive. 

It’s important to know that grief is normal.  We grieve much because we love much.  Even Jesus felt grief during his physical life.  We have a God who understands and empathizes with us when we experience losses and griefs.  The Bible reminds us of this in passages from the Old and New Testaments:

So do not fear, for I am with you; 
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you; 
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:20b

There are certain dates and markers that we know are coming.  They remind us of our loved one or special situation.  Dates like birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and special family celebrations cause us to remember and linger.  At times we might feel sad while other memories will evoke a smile.   

Today (August 9^th) is one of those days for me.  It would have been my dad’s 80^th birthday.  As most of you know, he died of COVID-19 on July 30, 2020, after ten days on a ventilator.  We held his graveside funeral on August 2^nd and then his birthday came within ten days after his passing.  As time marches on, this stretch of summer gets a little easier.  But it’s still hard.   

One of the practices that my counselor shared with me is a gratitude journal.  I have journaled all sorts of things about my dad for which I am thankful.  Like how he loved us; provided for our family; took us to Disney World; took us camping in the pop-up camper; came to our events, and how he could fix just about anything.  When I miss him, I open my gratitude journal and reflect on these good memories and often think of something else to add.  Whether the tears flow or I chuckle, I try to be present in the moment and not let it rush on by.  It’s important to feel whatever we need to feel and invite God into our situations. 

Here’s a memory that I shared at dad’s funeral.  Perhaps it will be a comfort to you in some way. 

When we were kids, dad would strum his guitar and sing to us.  (I still have his guitar at home.)  He sang songs like “Puff the Magic Dragon,” “Where Have All the Flowers Gone,” and “Morning Has Broken” (which we sang at church).  One my favorites was “Michael Row the Boat Ashore” by Peter, Paul and Mary.  It’s actually an African-American spiritual, but I didn’t know it at the time.  

While I was with dad in those final hours, I created a play list for him on Spotify and put my phone next to his pillow so he could hear some of his favorite songs, including Adele whom he loved.  

As I listened to “Michael Row the Boat Ashore” with him at the hospice house, the words took on new meaning.  They tell about crossing Jordan and being free.  The “Michael” in the song is Michael, the archangel in the Bible.   Listen to the words: 

Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah 
Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah 
Sister help to trim the sail, hallelujah 
Sister help to trim the sail, hallelujah 

The river is deep and the river is wide, hallelujah 
Green pastures on the other side, hallelujah 

Jordan’s river is chilly and cold, hallelujah 
Chills the body but not the soul, hallelujah 

The river is deep and the river is wide, hallelujah 
Milk and honey on the other side, hallelujah 

Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah 
Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah 

On Thursday night, I was there with dad when he finished his earthly journey and crossed over Jordan from death to the green pastures and the land of milk and honey on the other side.      

Dad had fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:6-8)  And as he entered heaven, we are confident that he heard the words, “Well done good and faithful servant” as he met Jesus face to face. 

If you are dealing with loss and grief in some way, you are not alone. There is good help available.  Please contact me.  I am happy to connect you and walk with you. 

The peace of Christ be with you,