In part three of our study of the Book of James (James 3:1-12), we learned that our words have power. Through our words, we can build up or tear down. We can praise or curse. We can sow goodness and kindness, or sow hate and condemnation. In his letter to the churches of his time, James wasted no time in emphasizing the power of words. He wrote that “the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.” (James 3:5) To illustrate, he likened the tongue to a bit and bridle which controls the direction of a horse, to a rudder which guides a large ship, and to a fire which can consume a great forest. If we speak impulsively without forethought and do not seek God’s wisdom, we can do great harm to others, especially those closest to us. In the sermon, I shared some helpful wisdom from a book by Dr. Jane Bluestein, PhD., entitled, The Parent’s Little Book of Lists of DOs and DONTs. As promised, here are the two lists that I included from her book. While this wisdom addresses parents, it is applicable to us all.

22 of the Worst Things an Adult Ever Said to a Child:

• “You’ll never amount to anything.” 
• “I wish I’d never had you” or “We never wanted you.” 
• “How could you be so stupid?” 
• “You’re useless (or hopeless).” 
• “I can’t stand you.” 
• “If you don’t straighten out, I’m going to commit you to the state hospital.” 
• “You’ll never be college material.” 
• “You’re lying.” 
• “You’ll never be any good at that.” 
• “Why can’t you be more like your brother (or sister)?” 
• “You’re fat and ugly.” 
• “You have a terrible personality. Only a real idiot would ever like you.” 
• “Children should be seen and not heard.” 
• “You should be happy. This is the best time of your life.” 
• “Your mother and I wouldn’t be getting divorced if it weren’t for you.” 
• “We always liked your dad’s first wife better than your mother. We wish he’d never married your mom.” 
• “If you do that, you’re not my daughter.” 
• “You could have been somebody.” 
• “Do what I say, not what I do.” 
• “You are the shortest person in the class, so you’ll be the last one to have your picture taken.” 
• “I’m sorry you didn’t play, but we needed to win the game.” 
• “I love you, but . . .” 

26 of the Best Things an Adult Ever Said to a Child:

• “I love you.” 
• “How are you?”
• “You are a good person.” 
• “You can do anything you choose to do.”
• “You’re very smart.” 
• “I’m so glad we’ve got you.” 
• “You are very special (or terrific).” 
• “When you make up your mind to do something, you always follow through.” 
• “You are number one.” 
• “Congratulations! You deserve this!” 
• “You’ll go far. I’ll never have to worry about you.” 
• “You’re beautiful.” 
• “You add so much to this family.” 
• “You’re really good at . . .” 
• “I really like who you are.” 
• “How do you feel about that?” or “What do you think?” 
• “I respect you.” 
• “You’re more responsible than a lot of adults I know.” 
• “You’re going to achieve whatever you want because of your great personality.” 
• “You did a wonderful job! I’m so proud of you.” 
• “I appreciate knowing I can count on you.” 
• “Your dad and I have loved you since the moment you were born, and we will never stop loving you.” 
• “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders.” 
• “You’ve got a tremendous amount of talent. “ 
• “I believe in you.” 
• “You have a great sense of humor.” or “You’re fun to be with.”

Whether a thoughtless comment or something cruel said in a moment of anger, our words take root and can live forever in the heart of a child. May we slow down, think before we speak and seek wisdom from above in our thoughts, words, posts, emails and tweets. If we think about it, these lessons are equally as good for fellow church members, our church staff, friends, coworkers, neighbors and our social media posts.  

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, (James 1:19) 

Seeking wisdom from above,