This is a continuation of the review of our sex and relationships series entitled "The Line"  You should also read Weeks 1 and 2 as well.

Ok, this was the big week. This is the week that we talk directly about sex. In fact I made it a point to say the word sex as much as possible. (45 times in 35 minutes according to one middle schooler). The reason is because the church has often messed up this topic. Growing up I heard preachers say that sex was bad. There were also times in life where the church didn't mention sex at all. On the other hand culture never stopped talking about it.

Culture is actually pretty sex crazed right now. You know this if you've watched tv or been on the internet recently. All of the ads are sexually charged (not to mention the plots of almost every show) If the church doesn't talk about sex then our students will grow up in a vacuum. This is why we do this series.

I've had numerous students over the years ask me I know I'm supposed to wait but I have no clue why. This talk was focused on why God says to wait. We looked at 3 Hebrew words for Love. Yes 3 words for love. In English we ruin words by giving one word multiple meanings. look at the following sentences.

I love my wife.

I love tacos.

Does the word "love" mean the same in both sentences? For my wife's sake, let's hope not. The Hebrew uses different words to describe the different levels of loves. Let's take a look.

Raya - strong friendship love.

Ahava- marital love, a love so deep that in can only be made in a commitment before God.

Dod - let's just say, the Greek version of this word is Eros which gives us the word erotic. Use your imagination on this one.

We talked about how God designed us to desire each of these. But the loves are only the strongest if used how God designed them. When someone meets someone and they start dating they develop Raya first. When they decide to  make the commitment of marriage before God they have Ahava. When that commitment before God is complete they move on to Dod. God designed these to be a progression. It adds a spiritual element to sex.

If you have Dod without the other two it's not as satisfying. So we come to the point that sex is most satisfying in a healthy marriage that has plenty of raya and ahava as well.

A couple of students illustrated this point in a skit. The went to a restaurant and ordered steak which was the best thing on the menu. After a few minutes they complained about how long the wait was. A few minutes later they talk about leaving. Right then the girl pulls out two cans of spam and says, "no worries, we can eat now"

The spam would still have fed them and would have given them some nourishment, but it's not the best for them. God's design gives us steak. Anything outside of that is like spam.

Homework (instead of questions)

1. Watch tv with your student. When you see something about sex in an advertisement or tv show, have a conversation with them about the topic. You might be surprised by what they pick up!

This is a continuation of a series of blogs about our Sex and Relationship series entitled "The Line" You can read the first post here.

The second week of our series called "The Line" we talked about how society tells us that there is a logical progression when it comes to being physical in a relationship. In schools today (as was the case when I was in high school in the late 90's) you often hear about "the bases". Walking down the hall you might hear something like, "he made it to second base with her"

The idea behind this phrasing was that every physical happen that could happen in a relationship had a corresponding base (like in baseball) Now I won't repeat all the bases here but I'll let you know that 1st Base traditionally is French Kissing and that if someone had made it home, they had sex with someone. The other ones make me a little red in the face to mention.

We talked about how just by having the bases metaphor we are encouraged to proceed to the next physical step in our relationship. I mean no baseball player ever got to first base and said...."you know what, I'll hang out here for a while" Once you get to first, your new goal is 2nd base....and so on.

This is a BAD lie that students get caught in.  They hear their peers and culture saying things like, "everyone is doing it" "it's not illegal or anything", or "it's not hurting anyone". We pulled in something that Paul said to the Corinthians (6:12)

12)“Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything.

 or as the Message puts it,

12)Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.

 Just because something is not illegal or seen as bad to culture doesn't mean that it's good for you to do. Paul was referencing prostitution which at that time was quite normal to the people of Corinth. We talked about how we can't just listen to what the world is saying. We have to match that against what God says. 

The group left the message time with 3 points to help them out when it comes to the physical progression of relationships.

1. Don't run the bases - in other words, don't buy into what the world tells you is ok to do physically when you are dating someone.

2. Get Out - If you are in a relationship that is based on physical actions or you have started to cross lines physically, get out of that relationship immediately. It's better to be single and righteous then have a girlfriend but running from God.

3. Have a relationship founded on God - that one is pretty self explanatory.

Questions to Ask your student (or yourself)

1. Do you hear talk about the bases at school? 

2. Do you hear a lot of talk about sexual stuff at school?

3. What do you think about that? (be ready for the "think about what?" response)

4. Have you ever felt like you had to go along with the physical aspect of a relationship? (for parents of kids who are dating)

5. How can I help you honor God in your dating relationships? (ok, that was weird wording but I couldn't think of how to say it!..something like this for parents of kids who haven't started dating yet.)

6. Do I need to show your boyfriend my gun collection. (for me, when Kate gets her first boyfriend)