I hope and pray that you can answer the title question with an emphatic "NO!" But I'm going to be honest with you. Most parents don't have a clue when it comes to protecting their children from the bad parts of the internet. I don't say that to be mean. I say it to hit hard. There's a good chance your computer has already accessed inappropriate material. I'll tell you how.

The crazy thing about porn (as well as inappropriate material) is that it's designed to be found. I've heard somewhere that for most kids the first time they see pornographic material is an accident. A miss-typed word. A web address hidden in the browser. In that same report (which I can't find now, of course!) they say that this first time encounter doesn't happen as a teenager....or a tween....but between the ages of 8-10. That's right. 

History suggests that this issue is limited to guys only, but recent reports suggests that isn't the case. Viewing of inappropriate material is increasing among young women which can lead to a whole host of issues. So what makes your computer unsafe?

I always liken using a computer to driving a car. When your child turns 13 you don't just hand over the keys to the car and say, "Have fun!", do you? No, you wait until they are the appropriate age and you teach them how to drive? Why is the computer any different? You might say that with a computer you can't get in a wreck and hurt yourself. When we allow our students unfiltered access to the world, we run a great risk in allowing them to hurt themselves mentally and spiritually. 

Even innocent sites can lead to temptation. Facebook is a prime example. Ads on facebook are built in order to be clicked. I first noticed this with a clothing company that put up ads showing scantily clad clothing. Clicking on the Ad would take you to their website which included models wearing completely see through clothing. Not something you would want your son or daughter checking out!  Another ad on facebook is for the free online game, Evony.  I have an website that shows the evolution of the Ads for Evony and how they have purposely used sex to get young people to click the link to see more. When users play the game, there isn't a half naked woman anywhere, which leaves them longing to find what they are looking for elsewhere. I have resisted adding the link here because some young person could follow it and defeat the purpose of this post. 

So should we ban our students from using the computer? After all, certain class projects require the internet. That's not what I'm saying at all. We as parents need to take a more active role in monitoring what is happening on our computers. So what can we do?

1. Keep Computers in Public Area- My in-laws kept the computer in their bedroom. This allowed them to always be around to see what was being viewed online. It also allowed them to have a time limit for the computer. (no computer usage after bed time) Other people use the computer in the kitchen, living room or other high traffic area. If you have wireless internet in your house, then set up restrictions on time and sites by going through the router's settings. If you don't know how to do this, let me know.

2. Know Your Student's Passwords-  Whether it is an email account or a facebook account, by knowing the password that your students use to get online, you establish the best possible accountability. I call it surprise accountability. In college, my friends and I set up a system where we would randomly check each other's computer for inappropriate material. Since we didn't know when it was going to happen, it helped us stay away from bad stuff altogether.  At first this seems a little crazy (or a little bit like spying) but I've had way too many conversations with parent wishing they had taken this approach sooner rather than later. Remember, even if you are friends on facebook with your child, they can still hide content from you.

3. Get Software- This is probably the easiest method for parents to help track internet usage and keep kids away from the negative aspects of the internet. These software programs can do anything from provide accountability to strict monitoring of sites visited. I'll share the top three in my opinion.

Safe Eyes- This is the best internet safety program out there. You can guess that by it's web address, www.internetsafety.com. This program does EVERYTHING. It handles timing, emails, social networking, youtube videos, web filtering, and even filters for iphones and ipod touches. It has a yearly fee of $50 and covers three computers in your house. It is recommended by Focus on the Family, PC World, Laptop Magazine, The Dave Ramsey show, and The Greenhill Family (in a few years at least)

Covenant Eyes - http://www.covenanteyes.com - This is mostly an accountability program. It allows users to open use of the web. Every week it emails a report of all questionable sites to an accountability partner (you). You can then approach your student to talk about web use. For an extra fee there is web filtering available. It runs about $8 a month for the first user and $2 for each additional user (that's $120 a year for two users). This is good for older students who have proven that they can handle the internet.   

Bsecure -  I'm not as familiar with this program as I am the others but it looks like a good one. It looks to do a lot of the things that Safe Eyes does for the same price. It is recommended by Joe Gibbs and the American Family Association.  Go to bsecure.com to investigate further.

4. Don't always trust your children-  That sounds terrible I know but the simple truth is that ANYONE can be tempted into making a poor choice. Kids, Adults, Pastors, Anyone. The best bet is to jump in and work with your student to understand the costs of poor internet habits. If you need help in this area, feel free to email me at jon@hrbcrichmond.org and we'll work through it. 

Until Next Time,

 Happy Surfing